It has NOTHING to do with intent, seriously. Now, I know nothing about you personally, but to be honest, it doesn’t matter - even if you’re a member of any groups that have such slurs directed against them, you still don’t have the right to tell people that using slurs in the presence of other members of these groups - or anyone, for that matter - is acceptable without the consent of said people. -.-
The majority of the people who those words have historically been used against STILL suffer abuse from members of the oppressor classes, who would seek to use these slurs to dehumanise them when they decide to get violent/abusive/cease caring about their existence, and as such it is impossible to separate the violent and abusive historical associations of these slurs, especially for members of such groups.
I’ll bring RuPaul up here, as this is an issue that angers me still today. He is a cis man who occasionally does drag performances, in case you weren’t aware, and has his own TV show - RuPaul’s Drag Race - which has made regular use of transmisogynistic slurs at various points. RuPaul seems to take a similar view to you, at least in some respects, in that he doesn’t see these slurs as an issue because ”we have established this is all the joke” - his intent is (allegedly) not transmisogynistic, but when a numerous trans women became aware of the show’s rampant use of said slurs, they became understandably pissed off.
As a trans woman myself, I can also tell you personally how unsafe I feel every time the words s****** or t**** are uttered - it tells me that the individuals in question don’t care that the words are so strongly associated with transmisogynistic violence and abuse. It tells me that the environment they are creating could potentially become extremely dangerous for me. It tells me that my own safety and opinions with regards to this matter are worth less than nothing to these people - that my life is worth nothing.
If you insist on this position, then I must insist on having nothing more to do with you.
Honestly, when someone tells you not to use a slur that’s directed at people like them them, it should be fucking simple what you do next: LISTEN TO THEM. I’m surprised I’ve had to actually debate this matter with you, for fuck’s sake - I expected better from the Cosmere fandom.